Road less traveled

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost

I’m really bad when it comes to understanding metaphors. I’m always that one person who takes them for their literal meanings, rather then understanding the deeper one it’s trying to convey and thinks of it as a stupid saying. So when it comes to reading the quote about taking the road less traveled, it stumped me for a bit. How I took it was that most roads that are less traveled are normally less traveled for a reason, reasons like it has lots of pot holes or it doesn’t lead to anywhere that most people want to go. See, I often miss the point, but looking into it, that logic can be used in what the deeper meaning is also.

My logic is that in life, “the road less traveled” can be different situations and choices that a lot of people choose not to take. They often to have pot hoses, stumbling blocks or struggles as it may be. In reality, nearly every road you go/path you take will have potholes at some point, whether you take the easy road or the unknown one. In my own life, the first time I started down a path less traveled was when I became a Christian, because, lets face it, it’s not the popular choice in our society and that was filled with potholes.

That was the day I stepped off the popular path and at first it was awesome, nothing could stop me because I now had God on my side. That’s when I started to notice the potholes and the bumps in the road; Different temptations, fears and struggles that came along. Most of the times, I’m sad to say, I fell straight into the holes. For a long time I was pretty angry at God for that actually. I assumed that when I became a Christian, that God would make life easy and take away the bumps in the road. After months of trying and failing I got convicted by the fact that God never said life was going to be easy after I said I’d follow him, because, after all, he didn’t make it easy for his perfect son, so why should we get any special treatment, but he did promise that we would never have to go through it alone. That does make all the difference.

When the world has a certain plan for you and where you should be, it’s hard looking for the different paths. How do you know which path you’re meant to take when there are no sign posts?

When you do follow God’s path rather then the popular one, life is exciting! Going places and doing things that haven’t been done before. He’s got a lot bigger plan for us then we can ever imagine, but if we’re too busy trying to fit in to the world around us; we’ll miss out on a huge adventure.

Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? - What a girl wants

Doubt and the devil..

How can you move on towards the future when you can’t let go of the past?

I’m not talking about the girl in grade five that used to call you names but I’m talking about big things, real pain, pain that will continue to hurt for years. Some of that pain is self inflicted, from consequences from bad choices, but mostly it is caused by the people who are closest to you. People you’re supposed to be able to trust, hurting you more then you can imagine. Times when the pain is out of your control. I don’t know if that’s true for all of you but that’s definitely been my experience anyway.

How are you meant to trust when all you know is hurt?

How do you move on when the pain is still real?

I don’t know about you but my past is painful and full of wounds that still haven’t healed and the more I try and move on from it, the more it haunts me. Coming back and reminding me it still has power over me just when I thought I was making progress. It has a way of holding me back from my dreams. Just when I get close to achieving anything, a seed of doubt is planted in the back of my mind. I find doubt is one of the hardest things to combat. As soon as I start doubting myself, it takes over. The voice that says you’re not good enough. The voice that says you never do anything right. The voice that says that I should give up.

Up until recently, I listened to that voice and I believed it. I believed that no mater what I did, I would still be useless and hopeless just like the people in my past have told me I am. It’s been a long journey realising that the little voice saying all that negative stuff and bringing up my hurts was the devil trying to hold me back, trying to stop me being all that God wants me to be. It just goes to show the devil will try to use ANYTHING to stop you from being all you can be. Even though I’ve learnt that it’s just him trying to trip me up, it’s so hard to stop believing it. Seriously, when you’re going through hard times, how hard is it to look in the mirror and say to yourself “I have potential and that there is a purpose for me” and actually believe it?

I used to hear the verses in the bible like “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (psalm 139) and “For you were made in my image.” (Genesis 1:27) and sort of thought it was a good idea but never really believed it. My thoughts were, if I was really made in God’s image; that must mean that God has a huge case of acne right now. I didn’t really take in the full picture of what God thinks of me because my head was to full of the negative thoughts.

I was introduced to the Father's Love Letter on the weekend. It’s a beautiful collection of verses about how much God loves us and what he thinks of us (I will post it after this if you want to have a read). I burst into tears when my friend read it out because I finally got it. I finally understood what it all meant if that makes sense. I know I’m really slow to catch on, but at that moment the love felt more real then it had ever before.

I encourage you, when you’re past is trying to bring you down, when the devil is sowing seeds of doubt, remember what God says about you. He loves you; he gave his son, everything he loved, so that we might love him in return. He has a purpose for you even if you can’t see it yet. Only in him can we have hope and a future.

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

What Christmas means to me...

At church on Sunday, our pastor asked the question, ‘what does Christmas mean to you?’ and got people to come up and write it on boards. It made me think about how much my view has changed over the years and it surprised me what my instant thoughts were.

When I was growing up, getting dragged to the nearest Catholic Church every Christmas Eve was the only “churchy” thing I did each year. Even then, us kids would spend the night outside playing tag or throwing rocks from a distance and trying to get them to land into the holy water basins that stood in the doorways (I’m the pope’s worst night mare). I heard about the Christmas story in our weekly RE classes in primary school but it never really effected me. M mum infected us with a love of Christmas when we were young, so every December we would go way overboard decorating the house and singing loudly along to our huge collection of Christmas CD’s (we have over 30 Christmas CD’s and it still grows each year!) but it was all about the presents and the holidays, nothing more.

Christmas for me growing up meant a day of no fighting. It normally consisted of sugar highs, epic water fights that lasted for hours and way too much food, but the highlight was always no fighting. No one was angry at each other, and we actually liked being together for once.

To be honest that is still the first though that comes to my head when I think of Christmas, but now days since becoming a Christian in high school, it means so much more. To me it means we have a future because of the sacrifice made my Jesus, that I am forgiven and made new, and that I have hope. God made a way, only through the birth and death of his son Jesus, to get to heaven and have eternal life. I think that’s pretty special.

What do you think of when you think of Christmas? Is it all about the presents? Or is it about the king of the universe?

Merry Christmas

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

Blessings

So lately I’ve been going through some hard times, just different things in my life that aren’t going so well. Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself stressing about all the bad stuff in my life rather then focusing on all the good. I got challenged by one of my closest friends to start counting my blessings, to come up with a list of awesome things in my life that I’m thankful for. To be completely honest I’ve struggled coming up with a list, if it was the bad stuff I could knock out a long list no problem but I guess it’s only because I think about it so much.

God’s forgiveness and everlasting love

William Andrew Torr 

Donna-Kay Kilgour – My twin

Incredibly supportive church

My mother, who always does the best she can

My not so amazing past for making me who I am today

LOL – Our young adults group at church and everyone in it

Memories of awesome things that I have done

Jero and Daniella – My Vanuatu girls for being so encouraging

A roof over my head every night

Food in the fridge

Rad supervisors/managers at work

Christmas music – no matter what, it always cheers me up

Unexpected plane flights to Brisbane

Job interview with Apple

Health

My passions – TWLOHA, Apple, Church, Operation Beautiful, etc.

That I am able to help my friends because of what I’ve been through

My animals for keeping me company when I am home alone

Chocolate – it makes everything better

Worship music – it also makes everything better :)

Freedom from persecution

Bright colours – without these my world would be a boring place

Rad photos that make me smile

Hope for the future

So here is my list in progress and my challenge to you. Try to look at the positives, make a list of blessings. It will change your outlook. Trust me.

All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God - Deuteronomy 28:2

To be continued..