Catch up vlog..

What I learnt at a Pete Murray concert…

Last night, Krissy, one of my friends and I went to a Pete Murray concert here in my hometown. To be honest, I more went for the opening act – Andrew Redford rather then Pete Murray but that’s neither here nor there.

From the start of Pete’s set, there was this group of 30something ladies standing in front of us – blonde, skinny ladies you’d expect to see them working in offices or out at a posh restaurant for a business lunch, those are the kind of women they were.

By about half way through his set, they were starting to get a bit sloshed and as they did so, their dancing got worse and worse.

Me, being my usual judgmental self, started to pay them out and mock them in my head. I’m not sure if I’m the only one who does this, but I am terrible for it. This went on for almost half an hour, as they got worse, my thoughts got even harsher.

That was until I realised how horrible my thoughts were, and I prayed.  It was just a simple quick prayer.

“God, why do I judge these ladies? It’s not my place, please help me see them as you see them for we are all your children.”

I looked up after I thought that prayer, and the first girl I saw was one of the girls I’d focused my internal mocking on the most and I instantly knew her husband was an alcoholic, that he bashes her and that this is the first time in a year that she was aloud out with out him.

This horrified me.

This lady that I’d been so rude to in my head, was going through so much. Who was I to judge her having a fun time.

I must admit, I stared at her rather intently for a little bit as I thought about all of this, but as I did so, I started to notice that whenever her friends weren’t looking or talking to her, her face dropped and her eyes glazed over. You could see the pain in her face.

One of the lyrics of my favorite songs came to mind while this was all happening, and they go like this:

All those people going somewhere, why have I never cared?

Give me your eyes for just ones second,

Give me your eyes so I can see,

Everything that I keep missing,

Give me your love for humanity,

Give me your arms for the broken hearted,

Ones that are far beyond my reach,

Give me your heart for the ones forgotten,

Give me your eyes so I can see.

Just something to think about. 

Andrew Redford

Lessons learned the hard way...

Life has been pretty hectic lately. Without sharing details, some of my family members have been going through huge struggles, which has thrown my world into utter chaos. It hasn’t been easy on any of us.

I’ve learnt a lot through this recent set of struggles and I want to share a few of these lessons in a quick way. So here goes:

I’ve learnt that no matter how helpful you try to be or how good your intentions are, you can’t always please everyone. Simple. Obvious! Still, it’s taken me years to learn.

I’ve learnt that sometimes you need to step back and look after yourself and not feel guilty about it.

I’ve learnt that you need to try and find the some times very small moments of happiness and hold on to them through the dark times.

I’ve learnt that you need to prioritise the relationships in your life and spend time working on the important ones.

I’ve learnt that if someone wants to find some one to blame, there will always be an unlucky candidate, whether they’ve done something or not.

I’ve learnt that you aren’t able to get help unless you ask for it. It rarely is just waiting for you.

I’ve learnt that family isn’t always the people you are related to by blood.

I’ve learnt that I can’t get very far without God’s strength. That I really should remember that more often!

I've learnt that its best not to focus on the pain but look for the positives.

I’ve learnt is that people cope differently with tragedy and stress.

Most of all I’ve learnt that it’s ok not to be ok when so much is going wrong around you. I don’t even know if that makes any sense. I used to beat myself up for not coping as well as other people seem to in hard times but I’ve been able to come to terms with the fact that we all process things in different ways.

I would never have survived the last month without God, Will and my beautiful friends. Even through these hard times, I am truly grateful to be so blessed.

“When we see that you're just as willing to endure the hard times as to enjoy the good times, we know you're going to make it, no doubt about it.” 2 Corinthians 1:7 (Message Version)

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

Insecurities..

Vanuatu mission trip

Finally some pictures from Vanuatu :)

Road less traveled

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost

I’m really bad when it comes to understanding metaphors. I’m always that one person who takes them for their literal meanings, rather then understanding the deeper one it’s trying to convey and thinks of it as a stupid saying. So when it comes to reading the quote about taking the road less traveled, it stumped me for a bit. How I took it was that most roads that are less traveled are normally less traveled for a reason, reasons like it has lots of pot holes or it doesn’t lead to anywhere that most people want to go. See, I often miss the point, but looking into it, that logic can be used in what the deeper meaning is also.

My logic is that in life, “the road less traveled” can be different situations and choices that a lot of people choose not to take. They often to have pot hoses, stumbling blocks or struggles as it may be. In reality, nearly every road you go/path you take will have potholes at some point, whether you take the easy road or the unknown one. In my own life, the first time I started down a path less traveled was when I became a Christian, because, lets face it, it’s not the popular choice in our society and that was filled with potholes.

That was the day I stepped off the popular path and at first it was awesome, nothing could stop me because I now had God on my side. That’s when I started to notice the potholes and the bumps in the road; Different temptations, fears and struggles that came along. Most of the times, I’m sad to say, I fell straight into the holes. For a long time I was pretty angry at God for that actually. I assumed that when I became a Christian, that God would make life easy and take away the bumps in the road. After months of trying and failing I got convicted by the fact that God never said life was going to be easy after I said I’d follow him, because, after all, he didn’t make it easy for his perfect son, so why should we get any special treatment, but he did promise that we would never have to go through it alone. That does make all the difference.

When the world has a certain plan for you and where you should be, it’s hard looking for the different paths. How do you know which path you’re meant to take when there are no sign posts?

When you do follow God’s path rather then the popular one, life is exciting! Going places and doing things that haven’t been done before. He’s got a lot bigger plan for us then we can ever imagine, but if we’re too busy trying to fit in to the world around us; we’ll miss out on a huge adventure.

Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? - What a girl wants

The Father's Love Letter

My Child,

You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

Doubt and the devil..

How can you move on towards the future when you can’t let go of the past?

I’m not talking about the girl in grade five that used to call you names but I’m talking about big things, real pain, pain that will continue to hurt for years. Some of that pain is self inflicted, from consequences from bad choices, but mostly it is caused by the people who are closest to you. People you’re supposed to be able to trust, hurting you more then you can imagine. Times when the pain is out of your control. I don’t know if that’s true for all of you but that’s definitely been my experience anyway.

How are you meant to trust when all you know is hurt?

How do you move on when the pain is still real?

I don’t know about you but my past is painful and full of wounds that still haven’t healed and the more I try and move on from it, the more it haunts me. Coming back and reminding me it still has power over me just when I thought I was making progress. It has a way of holding me back from my dreams. Just when I get close to achieving anything, a seed of doubt is planted in the back of my mind. I find doubt is one of the hardest things to combat. As soon as I start doubting myself, it takes over. The voice that says you’re not good enough. The voice that says you never do anything right. The voice that says that I should give up.

Up until recently, I listened to that voice and I believed it. I believed that no mater what I did, I would still be useless and hopeless just like the people in my past have told me I am. It’s been a long journey realising that the little voice saying all that negative stuff and bringing up my hurts was the devil trying to hold me back, trying to stop me being all that God wants me to be. It just goes to show the devil will try to use ANYTHING to stop you from being all you can be. Even though I’ve learnt that it’s just him trying to trip me up, it’s so hard to stop believing it. Seriously, when you’re going through hard times, how hard is it to look in the mirror and say to yourself “I have potential and that there is a purpose for me” and actually believe it?

I used to hear the verses in the bible like “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (psalm 139) and “For you were made in my image.” (Genesis 1:27) and sort of thought it was a good idea but never really believed it. My thoughts were, if I was really made in God’s image; that must mean that God has a huge case of acne right now. I didn’t really take in the full picture of what God thinks of me because my head was to full of the negative thoughts.

I was introduced to the Father's Love Letter on the weekend. It’s a beautiful collection of verses about how much God loves us and what he thinks of us (I will post it after this if you want to have a read). I burst into tears when my friend read it out because I finally got it. I finally understood what it all meant if that makes sense. I know I’m really slow to catch on, but at that moment the love felt more real then it had ever before.

I encourage you, when you’re past is trying to bring you down, when the devil is sowing seeds of doubt, remember what God says about you. He loves you; he gave his son, everything he loved, so that we might love him in return. He has a purpose for you even if you can’t see it yet. Only in him can we have hope and a future.

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

What Christmas means to me...

At church on Sunday, our pastor asked the question, ‘what does Christmas mean to you?’ and got people to come up and write it on boards. It made me think about how much my view has changed over the years and it surprised me what my instant thoughts were.

When I was growing up, getting dragged to the nearest Catholic Church every Christmas Eve was the only “churchy” thing I did each year. Even then, us kids would spend the night outside playing tag or throwing rocks from a distance and trying to get them to land into the holy water basins that stood in the doorways (I’m the pope’s worst night mare). I heard about the Christmas story in our weekly RE classes in primary school but it never really effected me. M mum infected us with a love of Christmas when we were young, so every December we would go way overboard decorating the house and singing loudly along to our huge collection of Christmas CD’s (we have over 30 Christmas CD’s and it still grows each year!) but it was all about the presents and the holidays, nothing more.

Christmas for me growing up meant a day of no fighting. It normally consisted of sugar highs, epic water fights that lasted for hours and way too much food, but the highlight was always no fighting. No one was angry at each other, and we actually liked being together for once.

To be honest that is still the first though that comes to my head when I think of Christmas, but now days since becoming a Christian in high school, it means so much more. To me it means we have a future because of the sacrifice made my Jesus, that I am forgiven and made new, and that I have hope. God made a way, only through the birth and death of his son Jesus, to get to heaven and have eternal life. I think that’s pretty special.

What do you think of when you think of Christmas? Is it all about the presents? Or is it about the king of the universe?

Merry Christmas

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16